Sunday, July 5, 2009

Jalapeno 1, Dawn 0

Yesterday Joey and I went to a friend's place for a BBQ. I decided that we should bring an appetizer. After all these years of going to parties, flipping through cookbooks, and just being aware of the world, the only appetizer I really knew how to make were Jalapeno stuffed peppers I learned from my knitting buddy.

We went out and bought the peppers, cream cheese, shredded cheese and turkey bacon. Upon coming home, I threw all the peppers in the sink to soak just like I learned. I worked with jalapenos earlier in the week and did not use any gloves, so I thought, "I don't need them now either!"

After cutting and seeding 23 large peppers, Joey and I stuffed them, skewered them, and put them in the oven. I then went upstairs to get ready for the BBQ.

I noticed a slight tingle in my left hand right away, but disregarded it as allergies or the hard water. However, the tingling soon turned serious and I thought my hand was going to burn right off. It was BURNING!!

BURNING!!!

BURNING!!!

I ran downstairs with my hand in the air screaming, my upper lip where I briefly brushed it with my hands was also burning, as were my right hand in certain spots. No amount of ice or running water could alleviate the pain. I then went upstairs to look for remedies online.

I pretty much poured the whole kitchen onto my hand after that. I tried: vinegar, lemon juice, milk, baking soda, rubbing alcohol, Vodka, sugar, salt, anything ... anything!! Everything worked, but only for about thirty seconds. The only thing that was consistent was just soaking it in ice water, but even then I suspect it was because my hand was numb from the cold rather than it curing anything.

My hand was ice cold, but I could barely stand to touch it. Any skin-to-skin contact felt like it was going to burn off.

Nonetheless, Joey and I still went to the party where I was confined to the kitchen with my hand in a bowl of water. I warned everyone there of the dangers of not using rubber, and they listened with eyes wide open. At her place, I tried... margarita, pina colada, and hot dogs. They didn't really help my hand either, but at least I was full.

I finally admitted defeat and left with Joey to go see his parents. There they gave me... lots of attention, Aleo, and drugs! Yea! I took two painkillers and soon had an excuse to say whatever came to mind. Even it what I said sounded crazy, I could blame it on the painkillers. I watched the everyone play Rockband and almost dozed off, but we had to come home to feed the cat.

All this time my hand never stopped burning, but certain things made it bearable. I slept with an icepack in my hand for about five hours before I could finally handle the pain without grimacing.

So 19 hours after seeding the peppers, my palm is still warm, but it certainly is bearable now. The bug bites, however, are another story. The worst thing about the whole ordeal was that it's hard to convince people how much my hand was burning because it didn't show up at all. It didn't look red at all, and anyone who touched it said it felt normal. It finally started heating up red, but I think that was because of the ice rather than the peppers.

SIGH!!

I hate summer.

2 comments:

ladydurer said...

Sorry! :( You shoulda come by & stolen some rubber gloves - under the kitchen sink (for next time).

iRule said...

You are a very talented and amusing writer! Sorry, random I know, but I really liked the way you titled and wrote about your painful endeavor with a Jalapeno.

On a more related note, I'm glad your hand has fully recovered from this incident by now (since I'm only finally commenting in mid-November and we are fully finished with your dreaded summer-time).